32C

Friday, D and I went to my first follow-up appointment since my implant surgery. I had been feeling pretty down all week because I was a little disappointed with the results of my surgery and felt like I was probably going to be needing a third surgery. By the time the day of the appointment came around I was starting to feel better and since seeing the doctor I feel fine now. Basically, the plastic surgeon explained that he didn't do the lift as planned because once he put the small implant in my right breast it was actually lifted up a lot, and very much in line with the left breast, and doing a lift would not have been much more of an improvement. Knowing that, he decided to not cut up and scar up my right breast anymore. He also pointed out that the two implants may settle slightly so if we do a lift at all we would probably get a better result from doing it after first waiting a bit. I'll be following up with him regularly but in about 3 months we'll see how the two breasts are sitting and will decide whether a lift will be beneficial, at that time. He also still wants me to consider getting the nipple reconstruction. He pointed out that even though it doesn't bother me to have a scar in the place of a nipple on my left breast, doing the nipple reconstruction may make the two breasts look similar enough to distract from the differences that I currently see and had been bothering me. That's fine with me. I'm willing to remain open-minded and wait the three months to see how I feel.

The same day I went to Victoria's Secret to treat myself to a fancy new bra. I have one more week before I am allowed to wear normal underwire bras again. A sales girl measured me and told me I am now a 32C. I was really surprised to hear that because I feel like I still have pretty small boobs and look just like myself, but I guess it's all about the fullness up top, which I definitely have more of now. She asked me what I was looking for and I explained that after two surgeries for breast cancer I just wanted to treat myself to something nice but no longer need all the padding most of their bras come filled with. She told me she too was a cancer survivor, a different kind, and led me to some really nice padding-free bras. I found this absolutely gorgeous,classy, lacy number and of course...they didn't have my size. Later the same day I tried the huge Victoria's Secret at 34th street but again, no luck. While I was there I told a second sales girl my story and she told me four different people in her family had had breast cancer and one wasn't doing so well. We're everywhere.

With two surgeries now behind me and D starting a new job Monday, we decided to head to the North Fork yesterday for a much deserved break. We had been there over Columbus Day weekend and had absolutely loved it. We'd been dying to go back. We spent the day tasting good wines and eating great food (and stocking up on our favorite Pinot Noir Mustard). Back at the B&B we layed in bed watching TV on the laptop. It was such a perfect relaxing day.

Tomorrow it's my mission to find that damn bra in my size! (It's on backorder online.)