How I came to this blog

For as long as I can remember I had been so excited about my 30th birthday. It was going to be a big year for me, I could feel it. I had no idea a breast cancer diagnosis would turn out to be the reason. I was actually told I had "early breast cancer" at 29, about three weeks before my 30th birthday. What I had is called Ductal Carcinoma In Situ (DCIS), which is also considered "stage 0 breast cancer." While it was caught at the earliest possible stage, and my life was never in immediate danger, I still had to undergo mastectomy, including lymph node removal, and reconstruction. My birthday came and went a couple weeks before my mastectomy. More than once I looked down at the "F 30" on my hospital bracelet and wondered, "where did my 30th birthday go?" This will definitely be an interesting year.















Showing posts with label mastectomy. Show all posts
Showing posts with label mastectomy. Show all posts

Monday, November 24, 2014

Personal Ink: A healing art

BTW - P.ink is pronounced "pea ink"
The idea to adorn my own mastectomy scar with a tattoo came to me before I'd had any of my surgeries, while reading Geralyn Lucas' Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy. At the end of the breast cancer memoir, Geralyn shares how she opted to not get nipple reconstruction but instead got a small winged heart tattooed near her mastectomy scar. I too had decided not to go with any of the available nipple reconstruction options and the moment I read about Geralyn's tattoo I knew this was something I needed to do.

I heard about Personal Ink last fall. This organization would be providing breast cancer survivors with mastectomy tattoos on "P.ink Day", which would be held in my own hometown of Brooklyn, NY, 3 years to the day since my doctor called to say cancerous cells had been found in the tissue taken during the core biopsy done on my left breast. I told my husband I was getting a free tattoo and he said "um...things you pay for" but tattoos are really expensive (one reason I hadn't yet gotten one), I didn't know the first thing about finding an experienced artist on my own (P.ink would provide artists who have mastectomy tattooing skills) and these people seemed legit (P.ink was founded by the VP, Director of Experience Design at ad agency Crispin Porter + Bogusky).

Thursday, October 31, 2013

The Girl With the Breast Cancer Tattoo


Last month I learned that an organization called Personal Ink (P.INK) was organizing an event to provide 10 breast cancer survivors with tattoos to cover or enhance their mastectomy scars. 

Now, I had spent the past 3 years considering getting a mastectomy tattoo to encapsulate and honor all that my husband and I had gone through during my breast cancer journey. I wanted to have something I could keep with me forever to remind me of not only the bad things but also all the good things that came of our experience. I had gotten the idea from a book I read (and re-read) before each of my two surgeries. My doctor had offered nipple reconstruction (creating a nipple out of the skin on the breast area) and/or nipple tattooing (coloring the area with permanent ink to create the appearance of a nipple). This just did not resonate with me. But when I read Why I Wore Lipstick to My Mastectomy by Geralyn Lucas, I felt I understood her decision when, at the end of the memoir, Geralyn got a tattoo near her mastectomy scar.

P.INK DAY would take place in Brooklyn, New York (where I live) on October 21, 2013 -- 3 years to the day my doctor called to confirm that cancerous cells had been found in my breast tissue. Just days before learning of the event I was thinking this month felt right for getting my tattoo. The whole thing sounded too good to be true. If it was true, it was meant to be.


Saturday, May 19, 2012

Post Surgical Camisole that Does It All

Before each of my surgeries I went to support group meetings at the Young Survival Coalition and got advice from the ladies there about preparing for surgery. Everyone wanted to share their favorite items that helped them get through recovery at home. All of my favorites are listed in the right frame under "Useful Items, Gift Ideas, Book Recommendations" but I want to spotlight my absolute favorite item in today's post. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Outlook Good

Reading over my last few posts I realized that I was really upset two posts ago ("Spoke too soon?") and improving in the previous post ("32C") but that I hadn't yet written to tell you how I'm feeling now, five days after that last doctor's appointment. Gradually over the last five days I've started to feel really happy with the results of my implant surgery. The steri-strips (a white tape the doc puts over the incision) are completely gone now and I can clearly see what I'm dealing with. It's not bad. It's actually pretty good. Firstly, the mastectomy scar still looks surprisingly really good even after being re-opened. Secondly, the differences in the two breasts really aren't as dramatic as I made them out to be. Basically, I think what happened is that when I came home from surgery and took my first look at the results, I jumped the gun in getting so excited about how perfect they looked. In the back of my mind I knew there was a good deal of swelling contributing to the two breasts looking so similar, but I wanted to be positive and happy and excited. As the swelling went down though, reality set in. They are never going to look like a proper pair. (But hey, my original boobs were actually pretty dissimilar to begin with!) Now I'm feeling really happy with them and am back to my old feelings of "I don't think I want a lift" and "I definitely don't want to mess around with nipple reconstruction." However, I know that they may continue to change a bit as they settle and so, again, I am keeping an open mind and just seeing how I feel, and how they look, over the course of the next few months.


Everything else is great. I'm missing the gym, of course. I still have 2-1/2 weeks of no gym and it's driving me insane! I've started reviewing the work I had left off with when I left school towards the end of the semester. I have until sometime in May to complete those two courses. And I'm getting ready to return to work next week. Next week I also have a dietetic internship interview, so wish me luck!

Friday, January 14, 2011

Breast Reconstruction is NOT Breast Augmentation

Let's get something straight. Having breast reconstruction surgery is not the same as getting a boob job. "Who would think that?!" you might ask, appalled. But plenty of seemingly well-meaning people have said some pretty crazy things to me about my soon to be new boobs. I think people want to say something positive and so the first thing they think is "well, you get a free boob job in the process!" or "well, you'll have perky boobs for the rest of your life!;" however, for many of us going through reconstruction, it certainly doesn't feel that way. Don't get me wrong, I've read some comments from people who were never happy with their breasts or their body and are actually happier with their new boobs or with the tummy tuck they got through TRAM flap surgery (transverse rectus abdominus myocutaneous; a procedure in which the new breast is made from abdominal tissue). On the other hand, several women I've spoken with, who have already had reconstruction, are very unhappy to have had to go through this process and are very unhappy with the boobs they now have.

Let's think about this. A breast augmentation, or "boob job," involves adding an implant to an existing breast, without altering the function of the breast and while minimizing scarring as much as possible. You can take out your implants later, if you change your mind, and still have your breasts there. As long as your breasts were functioning before, and as long and you suffered no complications from the surgery, you can still breastfeed. You still have sensation. You still have an areola and a nipple.

Mastectomy plus breast reconstruction involves removing the breast tissue, plus skin and the areola/nipple area (in some cases the skin, nipple and/or areola are able to be spared). Your milk ducts and lobules are gone. Your nipple and areola are gone. The skin loses sensation and becomes numb to the touch, so you can't feel anything over most of the breast area. Typically, and in my case, a tissue expander is placed and the remaining skin is stretched to make room for an implant. The implant will create the shape of a breast, AKA a "breast mound," so that you can wear normal clothes & bathing suits without worry, but is not actually a breast. You can't breastfeed from the affected side anymore. If you lose or gain weight, the "breast mound" will not grow or shrink with you (same during pregnancy). I like to think of it as a permanent/semi-permanent (sometimes implants need to be removed or replaced) subcutaneous prosthesis. It sits there, under your mastectomy-scarred stretched skin, taking the shape of a boob so that no one will notice as long as you're dressed. If you want, you can have your plastic surgeon fashion a new nipple out of the skin on the "mound" and you can have an areola tattooed around it (and the "nipple" colored in). You can also opt to have both the areola and nipple tattooed on. Apparently there are some great tattoo artists out there who can make some realistic-looking 3D nipples and areolas. Unfortunately, you never really get your nipple and areola back.

In my case, since I only had a mastectomy on one side, there is also the issue of altering the right breast to match the implanted boob on the left. This is the point where you should be thinking "Hang on, after all that you now have to cut into, and mess around with, your only remaining, healthy, intact breast as well?! That's crazy!" Yes, yes it is. An implant is round (unless you're talking the new-fangled teardrop shaped implants, which surgeons apparently are still figuring out exactly how to work with). This means that implanting the left side alone would leave me with one very round perky boob sitting high up on my chest and one normal, sloping breast sitting significantly lower. In order to make the two sides match I will need to have a slight breast lift (mastopexy) and a very small implant on the right side (to match the "curvature in the upper pole" that an implant gives, as my surgeon likes to say). Did I mention that since a breast lift involves removal of breast skin that I will also need my areola slightly reduced in size or else it will look tremendous sitting in the middle of my newly lifted breast? Did I remind you that this procedure leaves me with a bonus scar? You might be thinking "If it's so bad and if you're so unhappy about it, why do it?" Because it is the lesser of two evils. I am a very active person. I want to continue to be able to throw on my workout clothes, a bikini, a dress or a snug-fitting top and not worry about how my lopsided boobs look in them. I want to avoid having to wear a prosthesis. I want to be able to continue living my life as I always have.

That's what this is about. It's not about getting a boob job as a sweet concession prize for breast cancer. It's about preferring to just keep your own breasts, as they were given to you, but since that is not an option, doing whatever you can to continue to look as close to your old self as possible and to continue to live daily life as you had before.

There, I got that off my chest......literally!