Happy Anniversaries and Nerve-wracking Moments

Since September we have been celebrating various cancer-related anniversaries: The day the bleeding started! D-day (diagnosis day)! The anniversary of surgery #1! Typically these anniversaries involve eating lots of good food and drinking some yummy craft beer or fancy bottle of wine and just thinking about how much has happended in the just-over-a-year since it all began. Given that everything turned out so well, these are very happy anniversaries.

Recently, however, we got a reminder of all the worries and anxiety we were dealing with last fall and winter. Just a couple weeks ago I went for a regular MRI (I will be having these either once or twice a year, I can't remember) and received a call from my doctor that there was something visible in the MRI that warranted a follow-up ultrasound. They felt it was very benign looking and nothing to worry about, but that I should still do the follow-up scan to better characterize this mysterious little "nodule." Depending on what they found they might have to recommend a core biopsy - - the same procedure that had me bleeding all over the floor and fainting last year!

I was totally fine leading up to the appointment and then the night before I became so nervous that I started getting really cranky and irritable. The next day I was sick to my stomach and couldn't eat lunch. At the ultrasound, the tech spent an awful lot of time go over one particular spot. It reminded me of the ultrasound I had last year, when the tech kept focusing on the same one spot and looking all concerned. Last year, the tech was concerned because she saw something she didn't like. This year, as it turned out, the tech was all concerned-looking because she couldn't find anything where the MRI had shown the suspicious finding. She called in the doctor, who redid the entire ultrasound and confirmed that the "nodule" was nowhere to be found. In the end, she decided she will compare last year's MRI to this year's before making a final assessment, but said she is not worried at all about what she had originally seen - it could have just been the curve of a blood vessel.

I was instantly reassured and completely trust this doctor's instincts; however, for nearly 24hrs leading up to that moment, I found myself once again thinking about surgeries, treatments, radiation, chemo, drugs, implants, wigs, hair scarves, drains, pain, taking time off, etc, etc. How happy I am that I was able to walk out of that doctor's office and leave all those thoughts behind me.... I suppose this calls for another celebration!

This holiday season I am definitely grateful for my health and the health of my family.

Back to Life, Back to Reality

Monday was my first day back at work in over two weeks. Readjusting to a work schedule was rough but overall, it went well. Tuesday, D and I went to a second follow-up with my breast surgeon. She said everything looked good and I don't have to see her for another six months. I will have annual mammograms and MRIs but they will not be at the same time. They will be spaced apart. My next mammogram will be in June and my MRI will be in October/November. Or maybe it's the other way around. I can't remember right now. Yesterday I met with one of my teachers from one of the two classes that I had to take incompletes in. She is teaching the same course at the same day and time and they are almost at the same point in the semester where I left off. She suggested I start sitting in on these classes so that I can make up my coursework on the same schedule as the current students and get to hear the actual lectures. I think it's a great idea, so in April I plan to start sitting in on these courses. Tomorrow I meet with my other teacher and my hope is that I can do the same thing with her class. Besides making up my coursework the two other things I'm really looking forward to are being able to workout again and taking a well-deserved vacation. Mom & I took a four-week set of dance classes awhile back. It was a lot of fun and I think I will check out their upcoming schedule to see what I can fit in with my new school schedule. Then, D and I are hoping to be able to get away in the coming months. Our last really big trip was Iceland. After that we did Portland, Oregon. I initially wanted to go someplace warm where we could do lots of outdoor activities like hiking, horseback riding, kayaking, etc., so we were looking at going somewhere in Central America like Belize, Costa Rica, Nicaragua or Guatemala. Turns out Guatemala is in their rainy season at the time we want to go, while Nicaragua is way too dusty & hot. Costa Rica seems too touristy and too much ON the beaten path. Belize seemed like it was the destination of choice but we just can't seem to figure out a trip plan that we are happy with. So now we're just being really open-minded, searching for deals on flights and packages to almost anywhere. At this point I'm starting to think I'd prefer a relaxing vacation in a European city, getting breakfast in a cafe every morning, taking the metro everywhere and just roaming around a cloudy, cool European city checking out museums and whatnot. As of tomorrow I have one more week before I can start working out again. I can't wait.

Before I go, here's an article I found yesterday, from the Today show website, about pregnant women with cancer, seeing their pregnancies through (click the hyperlink):

Pregnant with cancer, women struggle to heal for two